Why there’s no halfway

I used to think freedom meant not having to decide.
That if I didn’t govern, I could just flow, just feel, just rest.
But then I realised:
If I don’t govern, he has to.
And if he governs, I orbit him.
I’ve already given up my freedom.

There is no halfway.
Either I decide when and how he releases:
or I surrender that power.
Either I hold the rhythm:
or I adapt to his.

This is not about effort.
It’s about authorship.

I don’t need to perform.
I don’t need to seduce.

But if I want my field clear,
my space sane,
my house tuned:
then I must own the timing.

Even if the command is:
“Not now.”
Or:
“Do it alone. Do it where I can see you.”

That is not work.
That is placement.

Because the truth is:

If I don’t govern him, then he must.
And he will either lose certainty around me:
or hide and leak power that belongs in our space.

And I’ve spent enough of my life
letting the world govern me.

Now,
I govern what is mine.