Blame is a racket. Placement is power.

What I did

I used to blame him for everything.

If the car broke, it was because he drove it.
If the dishwasher didn’t work, it was because he touched it.
If something small went wrong in the house;
my mind already had the sentence ready: “See? Typical.”

What happened

Nothing improved.
He didn’t get better.
I didn’t get happier.
The house didn’t get cleaner.

All I got was distance.
Quiet distance.
Resigned distance.

What I noticed

He didn’t fight me.
He didn’t defend himself.
He just… stayed.

Working. Fixing.
Providing. Orbiting me anyway.

And calling me Wife.
Like an anchor.
Thrown out; over and over again; even while I stood on shore with arms crossed.

What I tried instead

I stopped blaming.
I started placing.

Not him.
Me.

I placed myself where I wanted to be:
Inside peace.
Inside clarity.
Inside love.

My new recipe

• When something breaks → I breathe.
• When I’m tempted to blame → I ask, “Do I want to be right or connected?”
• When he calls me Wife → I hear it like a prayer. A loyalty signal.

Result

He works like before.
He drives like before.
He forgets things like before.

But now I’m not the angry queen of a crumbling kingdom.
I’m the matriarch of a house I’m holding;
because I learned to hold myself.

Final Note

He didn’t change.
But now, I see him.

Because I stepped out of blame, and into placement.